Saturday, May 23, 2009

Life changing events.. for the better and worst.

It has been one hell of a ride.

Ever since I lost my memory (it's been too redundant, explaining it over and over and over so I'll leave it to all those who know what's the real score lol), I've been on a roller coaster ride. I've been soul searching, emotional, scarred and battle laden. But I can't take away the fact that I have to live with these consequences, as well as what the people around me will do (or feel) over these sudden changes. And now, as much as I want to tell everyone what's going on inside my head, I can't put it to words.

So I'll simply leave it with this summary:

Life can change in an instant without us knowing. It could come so sudden that we never know what lies ahead after they do. It could spell doom, a new tomorrow or a never ending quest for answers. What happened to me has been a blessing and a curse; something that I have to live with as long as I'm breathing. I've had the best moments of my life, perhaps the worst as well, gone altogether just with a blink of an eye. I might get it back and I might not as well. Whatever is there, there is no point looking back now. For everyone else that I might have done wrong along the way, I am sorry. For everyone else that I have spent precious time with and yet feels the uncertainties of me not remembering it, I am sorry too. But I am being genuinely honest that with whatever flashes of the past I am slowly getting everyday, I am slowly getting the feel of what has passed by. I don't wanna look back. I just wanna go forward. I've never felt better, confident and happy with my outlook in life. Less tears, no more emo (if that's even possible haha) and all but positive thoughts. Because what makes the man in me are the people around who care and give their love despite all that has transpired. I am very much thankful for having you guys around me. I will take care of myself more now. Please stay the same.

And as for you, I love you, always and forever. Thank you for the patience and the love. <3

Life is short. Live it right. Live it the way you like it. Go with what will make you happy, and not with what will just help you survive everyday. Life is an adventure. Go out and find your destiny.

And keep believing no matter how big the odds are. :)

Thursday, May 21, 2009


I can't explain all the stuff that's going on lately. It's been a heartache and a headache at the same time. Losing my memory was like losing half of my life no matter how short it was.  It's 4 am now and I was waiting for a confirmation for something later. Looks like I ain't going out. I still wanna use my time while I'm this free to talk to people I care and love most. I hope they still feel the same.

I hope I wasn't forgotten.......

Goodnight world :(

To make you feel my Love 
Kris Allen's version

When the rain is blowing in your face
And the whole world is on your case
I would offer you a warm embrace
To make you feel my love
When the evening shadows and the stars appear
And there is no one to dry your tears
I could hold you for a million years
To make you feel my love
I know you haven't made your mind up yet
But I would never do you wrong
I've known it from the moment that we met
No doubt in my mind where you belong
I'd go hungry, I'd go blind for you
I'd go crawling down the aisle for you
There ain't nothing that I wouldn't do
To make you feel my love
The storms are raging on a rolling sea
Down the highway of regret
The winds of change are blowing wild and free
But you ain't seen nothing like me yet
There ain't nothing that I wouldn't do
Go to the ends of the earth for you
Make you happy, make your dreams come true
To make you feel my love 

Saturday, May 16, 2009

My Star

Across the ocean drifting the seas
I licked my wounds as they burned
Cried my heart out and down on my knees
Screaming in agony of how my life has turned

Saddled in thought of seemless boundaries
Stuck in the middle of a tragic demise
Escaping nightmares that form out of my miseries
I shrunk slowly into my heap of lies

In a sea of hate and negativity
Regrets rise and chaos follows with sympathy
Feel the weight of the world defying gravity
I loved you with all of me whole heartedly

I stare out at the sky and wonder where you are
Could I be alone sinking in this wonderland
I wish I had the answers no matter how near or far
Truth is from reality, here is from beyond..

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Vacation Mode

I will be out from May 7th to 9th and off to Villa Escudero. So for those who are reading my poems, there'll be a 3 day break =p

I'll miss my friends, my computer, my TV, my fan, GE, NBA and a whole lot more. I'll miss YOU.


Tuesday, May 5, 2009


Under siege from false assumptions
Reasons to falter under a bad condition
Mindset bothered by pain and agony
Your presence returns my sanity

Over trains of thoughts and doubt
Neither words or gasps comes out of my mouth
Logic is trampled as answers were scattered
Your voice is the lone thing to me that mattered

Living under pressure of the world around me
On my heels I crumple as I drown in the sea
Vexed by my inner ghosts that time won't exorcise
Eternally destined to live in these lies

Butterflies in my stomach just disappeared
And all the antagonists that I have feared
Bid their goodbyes as you kissed my hurt away
You're all I need afterall and I run out of words to say..

Monday, May 4, 2009


Man my body's getting weaker and weaker. I dunno if this is caused by the state of mind I am in right now, or it's because I got soaked in the rain last night and didn't take a hot shower afterwards. My arms are aching. My legs are weak. I didn't even have appetite to eat lunch or breakfast. I am simply munching now on 2 pcs of hershey's kisses and a glass of water. Sugar. Yes. To keep me moving somehow.

I've had the longest sleep in a while last night (8 hours - yes that's already an eternity for me) in a month or 2 and it didn't quite help as much as I expected it to. Maybe my body wasn't used to normal sleeps already. Maybe, maybe. Pain's just inevitable with all these things I've been going through lately. I wish I can do something about it. But I can't fast forward time and beat everyone's demands and expectations from me at the moment. It's just saddening. Very saddening.

I don't wanna fall back to that state of depression I was in back then. I saw a glimpse of that self a good 2 days back when I was a complete mess for yes, another 2 days. Nothing seemed right. Nothing's working. Nothing. But at least I found my sanity for a while yesterday and I made sense. I am also feeling better now except that my body is experiencing pain.

I don't wanna be selfish but hey, can I help it?

Sunday, May 3, 2009

Soul Searching

I ask, we wonder
I seek, we ponder
I come, we go
I learn, we know

Life sucks or rocks
Life builds or break the blocks
Life can be cruel or fair
Life can be a dream or a nightmare

Obstacles can be beat
Obstacles can bring the heat
Obstacles can pose trouble
Obstacles can make us humble

Very romantic nights
Very senseless fights
Very painful torments
Very memorable moments

Everything is bright
Everything is right
Everything is true
Everything is you

Under the starry sky I'll pray
Under the ocean bed I'll lay
Under the night I'll promise
Under the heavens only you I'll cherish..