Changes

Man my body's getting weaker and weaker. I dunno if this is caused by the state of mind I am in right now, or it's because I got soaked in the rain last night and didn't take a hot shower afterwards. My arms are aching. My legs are weak. I didn't even have appetite to eat lunch or breakfast. I am simply munching now on 2 pcs of hershey's kisses and a glass of water. Sugar. Yes. To keep me moving somehow.

I've had the longest sleep in a while last night (8 hours - yes that's already an eternity for me) in a month or 2 and it didn't quite help as much as I expected it to. Maybe my body wasn't used to normal sleeps already. Maybe, maybe. Pain's just inevitable with all these things I've been going through lately. I wish I can do something about it. But I can't fast forward time and beat everyone's demands and expectations from me at the moment. It's just saddening. Very saddening.

I don't wanna fall back to that state of depression I was in back then. I saw a glimpse of that self a good 2 days back when I was a complete mess for yes, another 2 days. Nothing seemed right. Nothing's working. Nothing. But at least I found my sanity for a while yesterday and I made sense. I am also feeling better now except that my body is experiencing pain.

I don't wanna be selfish but hey, can I help it?