Saturday, May 23, 2009

Life changing events.. for the better and worst.

It has been one hell of a ride.

Ever since I lost my memory (it's been too redundant, explaining it over and over and over so I'll leave it to all those who know what's the real score lol), I've been on a roller coaster ride. I've been soul searching, emotional, scarred and battle laden. But I can't take away the fact that I have to live with these consequences, as well as what the people around me will do (or feel) over these sudden changes. And now, as much as I want to tell everyone what's going on inside my head, I can't put it to words.

So I'll simply leave it with this summary:

Life can change in an instant without us knowing. It could come so sudden that we never know what lies ahead after they do. It could spell doom, a new tomorrow or a never ending quest for answers. What happened to me has been a blessing and a curse; something that I have to live with as long as I'm breathing. I've had the best moments of my life, perhaps the worst as well, gone altogether just with a blink of an eye. I might get it back and I might not as well. Whatever is there, there is no point looking back now. For everyone else that I might have done wrong along the way, I am sorry. For everyone else that I have spent precious time with and yet feels the uncertainties of me not remembering it, I am sorry too. But I am being genuinely honest that with whatever flashes of the past I am slowly getting everyday, I am slowly getting the feel of what has passed by. I don't wanna look back. I just wanna go forward. I've never felt better, confident and happy with my outlook in life. Less tears, no more emo (if that's even possible haha) and all but positive thoughts. Because what makes the man in me are the people around who care and give their love despite all that has transpired. I am very much thankful for having you guys around me. I will take care of myself more now. Please stay the same.

And as for you, I love you, always and forever. Thank you for the patience and the love. <3

Life is short. Live it right. Live it the way you like it. Go with what will make you happy, and not with what will just help you survive everyday. Life is an adventure. Go out and find your destiny.

And keep believing no matter how big the odds are. :)

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Sigh

I can't explain all the stuff that's going on lately. It's been a heartache and a headache at the same time. Losing my memory was like losing half of my life no matter how short it was.  It's 4 am now and I was waiting for a confirmation for something later. Looks like I ain't going out. I still wanna use my time while I'm this free to talk to people I care and love most. I hope they still feel the same.

I hope I wasn't forgotten.......

Goodnight world :(

To make you feel my Love 
Kris Allen's version

When the rain is blowing in your face
And the whole world is on your case
I would offer you a warm embrace
To make you feel my love
When the evening shadows and the stars appear
And there is no one to dry your tears
I could hold you for a million years
To make you feel my love
I know you haven't made your mind up yet
But I would never do you wrong
I've known it from the moment that we met
No doubt in my mind where you belong
I'd go hungry, I'd go blind for you
I'd go crawling down the aisle for you
There ain't nothing that I wouldn't do
To make you feel my love
The storms are raging on a rolling sea
Down the highway of regret
The winds of change are blowing wild and free
But you ain't seen nothing like me yet
There ain't nothing that I wouldn't do
Go to the ends of the earth for you
Make you happy, make your dreams come true
To make you feel my love 

Saturday, May 16, 2009

My Star

Across the ocean drifting the seas
I licked my wounds as they burned
Cried my heart out and down on my knees
Screaming in agony of how my life has turned

Saddled in thought of seemless boundaries
Stuck in the middle of a tragic demise
Escaping nightmares that form out of my miseries
I shrunk slowly into my heap of lies

In a sea of hate and negativity
Regrets rise and chaos follows with sympathy
Feel the weight of the world defying gravity
I loved you with all of me whole heartedly

I stare out at the sky and wonder where you are
Could I be alone sinking in this wonderland
I wish I had the answers no matter how near or far
Truth is from reality, here is from beyond..

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Vacation Mode

I will be out from May 7th to 9th and off to Villa Escudero. So for those who are reading my poems, there'll be a 3 day break =p


I'll miss my friends, my computer, my TV, my fan, GE, NBA and a whole lot more. I'll miss YOU.


<3

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Clarity

Under siege from false assumptions
Reasons to falter under a bad condition
Mindset bothered by pain and agony
Your presence returns my sanity

Over trains of thoughts and doubt
Neither words or gasps comes out of my mouth
Logic is trampled as answers were scattered
Your voice is the lone thing to me that mattered

Living under pressure of the world around me
On my heels I crumple as I drown in the sea
Vexed by my inner ghosts that time won't exorcise
Eternally destined to live in these lies

Butterflies in my stomach just disappeared
And all the antagonists that I have feared
Bid their goodbyes as you kissed my hurt away
You're all I need afterall and I run out of words to say..



Monday, May 4, 2009

Changes

Man my body's getting weaker and weaker. I dunno if this is caused by the state of mind I am in right now, or it's because I got soaked in the rain last night and didn't take a hot shower afterwards. My arms are aching. My legs are weak. I didn't even have appetite to eat lunch or breakfast. I am simply munching now on 2 pcs of hershey's kisses and a glass of water. Sugar. Yes. To keep me moving somehow.

I've had the longest sleep in a while last night (8 hours - yes that's already an eternity for me) in a month or 2 and it didn't quite help as much as I expected it to. Maybe my body wasn't used to normal sleeps already. Maybe, maybe. Pain's just inevitable with all these things I've been going through lately. I wish I can do something about it. But I can't fast forward time and beat everyone's demands and expectations from me at the moment. It's just saddening. Very saddening.

I don't wanna fall back to that state of depression I was in back then. I saw a glimpse of that self a good 2 days back when I was a complete mess for yes, another 2 days. Nothing seemed right. Nothing's working. Nothing. But at least I found my sanity for a while yesterday and I made sense. I am also feeling better now except that my body is experiencing pain.

I don't wanna be selfish but hey, can I help it?

Sunday, May 3, 2009

Soul Searching

I ask, we wonder
I seek, we ponder
I come, we go
I learn, we know

Life sucks or rocks
Life builds or break the blocks
Life can be cruel or fair
Life can be a dream or a nightmare

Obstacles can be beat
Obstacles can bring the heat
Obstacles can pose trouble
Obstacles can make us humble

Very romantic nights
Very senseless fights
Very painful torments
Very memorable moments

Everything is bright
Everything is right
Everything is true
Everything is you

Under the starry sky I'll pray
Under the ocean bed I'll lay
Under the night I'll promise
Under the heavens only you I'll cherish..

Something for a Change

Well all I've done lately was post poems. Yeah, this is more of like a literary dump than a blog.

Okay so why am I a mess?

I'm thinking too much. Assuming too much. Not thinking straight. Not being fair. Being selfish to myself and everyone else that I care for. I kept acting on my own accord without even thinking how the people around me would feel. I am sincerely sorry for it so whoever I had offended/hurt in a way and by some miracle of fate, is reading this, I wanna say sorry. From the bottom of my heart.

Sometimes there are just tons of things that my mouth (or my writing in this case) can't say that they end up in the form of poems (that I write in this case, again lol) which are related to how I feel or just random thoughts of mine. Blah. Whatever actually.

I learned alot today as I reflected on how I've been acting. 

1. Live and let live.
2. Trust and have faith without asking.
3. Prove your worth to the people you love by showing them you deserve it.
4. Think before you act and don't end up regretting or being sorry for anything you've done. It's pointless and pathetic to end up in self pity or heavy regret.
5. Be patient. Nothing comes in handy no matter how much you work hard for it. If it's not for you then it isn't.

Well yes that's quite a ton of things. From being almost non-existing by spacing out during the Pacquiao-Hatton match up to that night's Colony Wars in GE, I can say I am just emotionally weak and dry. But after the whole day is off and I've done my soul searching, I found the answers myself. 

Back to the melodramatic Shakesperean mode (bleah).

Thanks for reading the wall of yak. <3

Saturday, May 2, 2009

Longing

The clock ticks twelve and I close my eyes
But for some reason sleep won't come easy
Yes surely as people say, time flies
But I just can't let it be

Twists and turns, this and that's
What could be and could have beens erupt
How to put them into words is just too much
To just want you this abrupt

Be my guide when I'm lost
Be my winter in summer
Be my guest, be my host
Be my only one forever

In this events of insanity
I need no proof but just clarity
That no matter what happens it doesn't matter what I try
These eyes will always have reasons to cry
And only you, despite all, can wipe it dry..

Tongue Tied

When words can't find its way
Because of emotions that are struggling inside my head
I end up with the wrong things to say
And find my self sleeping soon in my bed

The mind says one thing and the heart another
Thoughts mix and mash as I uncover
All these harsh stuff that's making me feel bothered
Things I don't, even for a second, be sober

But in the lack of justice of what to think about
I looked at the distance and saw that glimpse first
In the crowd of buzzing sounds I hear you shout
It's only you and me after all in this universe

And amidst the lack of sensible things to say
Faith proves its worth as my mind rests
For it is in honesty that you save the day
For it is in believing that we'll pass the tests..

Friday, May 1, 2009

Mission

In the dark of the night
A thought came across my bothered mind
To be your full plated knight
When everyone else has left you behind

Patience shortens and runs out
Trust decays and fades away
But there is harmony if there's no doubt
And loyalty will always stay

Paths have crossed and intertwined
As dusk has settled in the land
Fate could build and shatter the mind
If you put your life in your hand

Goals must be set and faith tightened
If life's purpose is to be fulfilled
For it is in trying and failing that man is heightened
And a man's destiny is sealed..

Thursday, April 30, 2009

Eternity

We'll sit and talk under the fireplace
Reminisce about all those bloomy days
When we sank all the ships together
As we sailed through them stormy weathers

We'll stroll at parks, hand in hand
Sit by the seashore with the crystal sand
Look back at times when everything seemed like a dream
When everything simply looked impossible as it may seem

We'll hike the mountains and climb that mango tree
And savor the feeling of being free
For all that years worked for has bore its fruit
I'll play our music through this flute

We'll brush the bushes and run through the flowers
And get soaked in the rain as it merrily showers
The tears of joy that heaven has poured upon us
The feeling of embracing under the stardust

We may not have the number one act or best romance
But we can always have the greatest performance
Of a fairy tail love story that came to reality
Because you gave life to my fantasy
Of living this lifetime with you happily..

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Destiny

Fate tends to be playful
And it urges us to be careful
With the cards we play, with words we say
On a broken edge of hope we pray

Lonely days are longing
As songs of sorrow are playing
I can't help but play with fire
Because of this burning desire

Trails of my tears are left behind
As sweet and bitter memories unwind
My sanity cripples, my paranoia grows
As days without you continues to flow

So minutes will pass to hours as days turns to years
I can't wait for the magic moment as it nears
For in the eyes of love there are no exceptions
There are no special cases, no unique options
But every little bit of fated perfection..

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Mixed Emotions

SORROW

Tears fall down
And smiles drown
Pain echoes in the silence of the hall
Where I used to hear you call

Neverending agony surrounds
This whole world around
There's no joy, no happiness
All but frowns of sadness

A tale of hell and its demise
I wish from the ashes where it lies
That's I'll be able to stand and face the sun
When all of this has been said and done..



ONLY ONE

You came and life just turned around
All my dreams in you I found
Tears turned to glowing smiles
May you be near or by far by miles

Your voice is music to my ears
Your eyes, they have killed all my fears
Your presence, here in me it lingers
Your face, I wish it was in my fingers

My life that was basked in fading glory
Was resurrected by you like an ivory
Growing in full bloom as spring is near
In my soul where I hold you dear

Doubts were erased as trust for each other tightened
Dark clouds cleared as our souls lightened
For no matter how much worlds are apart
You'll be my sanctuary, you'll be my heart..











Monday, April 27, 2009

Promise

Hold me as I walk
Down this lane of our dreams
Listen to me as I talk
We'll get through this as a team

Touch me when I reach out
Cause it's your hands I'll always seek
Trust me without doubt
We'll climb the mountain to its peak

Follow me on this track
Let's go dipping in the ocean
Believe in me, in our luck
As we breeze past all this motion

Sing with me lullabies
And let's fall asleep together
Stand with me and watch these lies
Become truth with cloudy feathers

Pray with me that we stay strong
No matter what path lies ahead
Love me as I love you and let's prove them wrong
Because we'll be together till we are dead..


Sunday, April 26, 2009

Thanks for the awesome birthday!

Gosh I just turned 21! haha. Had fun though, with all the greetings and all the cakes and ice creams I received from everyone. Thank you!!!!

Thanks to everybody. Thanks thanks.

Friday, April 24, 2009

Renaissance

Years of joy and sadness
Years of laughter and madness
Years of pains and gains
Years of sunshines and rains

Years of meetings new faces
Years of seeing new races
Years of smiles and frowns
Years of villains and clowns

Years of striving and trying
Years of losing and winning
Years of yearning and learning
Years of smiling and crying

Years of surprises and uncertainty
Years of boundless insanity
Years, and more years I will wait
Years, even centuries, I will have faith..

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Beautiful

A touch of yellow and blue
You are natural, oh so true
A portrait of elegance
That you'll adore in one glance

A mix of ivory and fairy tail
Whose heart I wish to be my personal jail
The epitome of brilliance
With whom I wish to dance

A sight of heaven on earth
Where you, angel, was given birth
Smile that can move a mountain
Grin that can cure all pain

And as I stare here in awe of this masterpiece
I wish to get a glimpse of u the very least
Every morning when I wake up
Or even before I take a nap
You are my precious, where all my feelings have gone
My princess, my queen, my only one..


Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Rain

The sky darkened as it prepared to soak
The land beneath it with its tears
Thus all my worries be hidden in this cloak
Together with my agony and fears

As drizzle dropped upon my head
I felt renewed and so alive
Wishing this waterworld is my bed
To where I can just dive

And as the downpour went on all day
My head was filled with thoughts I wish to say
But in my mind they will all lay
Of you, who turned my skies blue from gray

Slowly as time drifted, the heavens were clear
From the darkness of the shower here
A rainbow appears painting the world beautifully
A reminder that no matter how hard life can be
When it pours, in my heart, it's only you and me..


Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Independence

As I gazed at the sky I saw the sun
It excited me and made me run
As its rays shone upon the earth that's green
I peacefully enjoyed all that has been

The wind blew by and its gentle breeze
Tickled my fancy and made me miss
Of the fun I had under the summer's heat
When it was just me, standing on my feet

And as the day slowly paved way to night
I set my goals straight, I wanted them right
For no matter what tale I was told
Of you being my warmth when it was cold
It will still be my memories that I will hold

Monday, April 20, 2009

Faith

There was leisure
Under pressure
A lecture
During torture

Parody of strings
Memories that cling
Sadness pain brings
Happiness from other things

Walk as I run
Faults can't be undone
Gaze as I fly
Feelings that won't lie

Look me in the eye as we dance
Glance at life at our last chance
For reality bites when we go to sleep
But the peace it brings we'll keep
As we stare at the nothingness this moment brings
There's no happiness from other things..

Sunday, April 19, 2009

Dilemma

There's pain, no gain
No sun, just rain
There's love, no trust
No glow, just rust

There's rhyme, no reason
No faith, just treason
There's urge, no passion
No goal nor mission

And as I put my eyes to rest
I wonder if I can stand this test
That upon myself I bestowed
And symphatized well in this ode

Timestop

Fire burns, the light glows
The anxiousness that builds, the wait that goes
Chasing the unchasable, facing the unfathomable,
Reaching the distance, I wish to be able

A flicker of hope, a fragment of life
Deliberately hurting me, like the cut of a knife
Nothing felt right, nowhere was bright
Slowly went out the light, my day turned into night

Minutes pass, and seconds go
Till how long can I stand, I wish I know
For no matter where it is, words won't just fit
How wondering where you are will end, for just a little bit

Here I lay on my thoughts with wishful thinking
That the boat I built isn't slowly sinking
How do I cope, how do I deal
When the world without you, just stood still
This uneasiness it made is all I feel

Saturday, April 18, 2009

Bliss

Shades of roughness, shades of fall
Apologies that in demise have ended
Glory from those days when we used to walk tall
All but patched up this broken heart we mended

Lost in a sanctuary of love and care
Slowly all we worked for, ended up nowhere
Our world was filled with hatred, fear and despair
All my dreams suddenly turned into this nightmare

And slowly dusk turned into morning
Cobwebs from the past are slowly gone
Doubts in my soul are slowly going
Out of the window, when all's said and done

Once more in this haven where we first kissed
Memories filled with fun that I surely missed
I abandon all regrets that time have built
For this love we had, shall never wilt

Friday, April 17, 2009

Random Poetry

When you smile, my heart stops
All the good thoughts, all the props
Of a love that's in to deep
In my heart I'll always keep

I'll sing u songs and lullabies
Of all the emotions that in my heart lies
Screaming and reaching out to get to you
Oh I love you, it's oh so true

I just hope that no matter how long it will take
Even though forever, I will surely make
The improbable real, the unreachable possible
All this for my angel, who is just so lovable 



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Smile, and my world brightens up
Kisses, that I wish u'll never stop
Hugs, that are just enough for my heart to mend
Time, that with u, I hope won't end

Pain, that I will never make u feel
Memories, that u can keep for real
Dreams, that I only want with u to come true
Love, I hope this is what u feel too
Cause if there's anything that I would wish to do
It's all just to be here with you

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Pillory of Fears

I thought deep inside that I'm strong
Only to prove myself that I was wrong
To think that it was in smiling that I'll find comfort
That I well deserve from all my effort

But eventually all the hardwork bore nothing
I badly crave, crave for this loving
A love lost that was found at the right moment
Only to end up with my heart being silent

I hope that words can shatter pain
Like dark clouds that bring us rain
so long as I'm breathing, I'll wait in vain
In this heart of mine, you will remain

May time pass, hope it goes
Blitzing like the rapids upon my toes
Bringing upon joy filled with tears
As my dreams come true, as our time nears
For it's with her words, I hope she hears
Vanquished are my deepest, and darkest fears


Monday, March 23, 2009

Happy to be alive.

Happy to be Alive.

Glory be to God.

4:30 AM, March 23 of 2009, early Monday morning. Back from our meetup with charles/joseph @ makati, in a cab with Justin and Jarbs.

After dropping Jarbs off at their village gate, we proceed to the next stop which is Justin's place. As he was signalling for the driver to stop near at the safe side, we were going straight aimlessly at the road islands/gutters at the middle of the road @ 90 KPH.

The driver fell asleep.

Our screams of terror woke him up just in time, as we collided front tire first on the middle island, bouncing off violently as he tried to avoid more damage, from the left side of the road straight to the right in an ugly manner. With me in front, I could only wish that in that spur of the moment that there was no car behind us in that other side of the road or simply put, it will crash straight to us full speed, right into my seat.

A speeding pick up truck passed by and stopped cautiously at the side where we originally hit. If it was in the other side, I would be mincemeat by now. 

If the driver didn't wake up in time to break and stop us from crashing full speed at the middle island, our cab would have flipped 360 or straight to the other side of the road where other cars are speeding full ahead from another direction.

He was all apologies. He's been driving for 23 hours with no sleep and he wanted to earn enough for his kid's tuition fees. I asked him to park first near my usual drop point and made him drink coffee. There will be no us to scream at him if he falls asleep in the middle of the road again.

He was thankful and apologetic. I was just happy to see no one hurt. I did hurt my left hand but I'd lose it any day over my life. The listeners over at the food stall where he drank coffee was urging me to file a complaint for his recklessness. I call it human error or perhaps, just plain fatigue. We all get tired after all. He is a nice man as I see it so I let it go, wishing him a safe trip home as he kept apologizing as I boarded my next ride home.

One last look on the badly bruised tire that saved our lives reminded me of how God does his wonders, no matter what, who, where or how you've been.

Learn to value what you have. My life surely didn't flash right in front of me in this nearest death experience I ever had, but it made me realize that in a flicker of an eye, everything we all worked for could be gone.

Gone for good. Thank you Lord. Thank you for saving us.

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Movie Meter

SUPPOSEDLY if you've seen over 85 of these films, you have no life. Mark the ones you've seen. There are 239 films on this list. Copy this list, go to your own blog account, paste this as a note. Then, put x's next to the films you've seen, add them up, change the header adding your number, and click publish at the bottom.

( ) Rocky Horror Picture Show
( ) Grease
( ) Pirates of the Caribbean
( ) Pirates of the Caribbean 2: Dead Man's Chest
( ) Boondock Saints
( ) Fight Club
( ) Starsky and Hutch
( ) Neverending Story
( ) Blazing Saddles
( ) Airplane
Total: 0

( ) The Princess Bride
( ) Anchorman
( ) Napoleon Dynamite
( ) Labyrinth
(x) Saw
(x) Saw II
( ) White Noise
( ) White Oleander
(x ) Anger Management
(x) 50 First Dates
( ) The Princess Diaries
( ) The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement
Total so far: 4

(x) Scream
(x) Scream 2
(x ) Scream 3
(x) Scary Movie
(x) Scary Movie 2
(x) Scary Movie 3
(x) Scary Movie 4
( ) American Pie
( ) American Pie 2
( ) American Wedding
( ) American Pie Band Camp
Total so far: 11

(x) Harry Potter 1
(x) Harry Potter 2
(x) Harry Potter 3
( ) Harry Potter 4
(x) Resident Evil 1
(x) Resident Evil 2
( ) The Wedding Singer
( ) Little Black Book
(x) The Village
( ) Lilo & Stitch
Total so far: 17

(x) Finding Nemo
( ) Finding Neverland
(x) Signs
( ) The Grinch
(x) Texas Chainsaw Massacre
(x) Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning
(x) White Chicks
(x) Butterfly Effect
(x) 13 Going on 30
(x) I, Robot
( ) Robots
Total so far: 25

(x) Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story
(x) Universal Soldier
( ) Lemony Snicket: A Series Of Unfortunate Events
(x) Along Came Polly
(x) Deep Impact
( ) KingPin
( ) Never Been Kissed
(x) Meet The Parents
(x) Meet the Fockers
( ) Eight Crazy Nights
( ) Joe Dirt
(x) KING KONG
Total so far: 32

( ) A Cinderella Story
( ) The Terminal
( ) The Lizzie McGuire Movie
( ) Passport to Paris
(x) Dumb & Dumber
(x) Dumber & Dumberer
(x) Final Destination
(x) Final Destination 2
(x) Final Destination 3
(x) Halloween
(x) The Ring
(x) The Ring 2
( ) Surviving X-MAS
(x ) Flubber
Total so far: 41

( ) Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle
( ) Practical Magic
( ) Chicago
(x) Ghost Ship
( ) From Hell
(x) Hellboy
( ) Secret Window
( ) I Am Sam
() The Whole Nine Yards
() The Whole Ten Yards
Total so far: 43

(x) The Day After Tomorrow
( ) Child's Play...snippets
(x) Seed of Chucky
(x) Bride of Chucky
( ) Ten Things I Hate About You
( ) Just Married
(x) Gothika
(x) Nightmare on Elm Street
( ) Sixteen Candles
( ) Remember the Titans
( ) Coach Carter
(x) The Grudge
(x) The Grudge 2
(x) The Mask
(x) Son Of The Mask
Total so far: 52

(x) Bad Boys
(x) Bad Boys 2
( ) Joy Ride
( ) Lucky Number Slevin
(x) Ocean's Eleven
(x) Ocean's Twelve
(x) Bourne Identity
(x) Bourne Supremecy
( ) Lone Star
(x) Bedazzled
(x) Predator I
(x) Predator II
( ) The Fog
(x) Ice Age
( ) Ice Age 2: The Meltdown
( ) Curious George
Total so far: 62

(x) Independence Day
( ) Cujo
( ) A Bronx Tale
( ) Darkness Falls
( ) Christine
(x) ET
(x) Children of the Corn
() My Bosses Daughter
(x) Maid in Manhattan
(x) War of the Worlds
(x) Rush Hour
(x) Rush Hour 2
Total so far: 69


( ) Best Bet
(x) How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
( ) She's All That
( ) Calendar Girls
( ) Sideways
(x) Mars Attacks
( ) Event Horizon
( ) Ever After
() Wizard of Oz
( ) Forrest Gump
( ) Big Trouble in Little China
(x) The Terminator
(x) The Terminator 2
(x) The Terminator 3
Total so far: 74

(x) X-Men
(x) X-2
(x) X-3
(x) Spider-Man
(x) Spider-Man 2
( ) Sky High
(x) Jeepers Creepers
(x) Jeepers Creepers 2
(x) Catch Me If You Can
( ) The Little Mermaid
( ) Freaky Friday
( ) Reign of Fire
( ) The Skulls
( ) Cruel Intentions
( ) Cruel Intentions 2
() The Hot Chick
(x) Shrek
(x) Shrek 2
Total so far: 84

( ) Swimfan
( ) Miracle on 34th street
() Old School
( ) The Notebook
(x) K-Pax
( ) Krippendorf's Tribe
(x) A Walk to Remember
( ) Ice Castles
( ) Boogeyman
(x) The 40-year-old Virgin
Total so far: 87

(x) Lord of the Rings Fellowship of the Ring
(x) Lord of the Rings The Two Towers
(x) Lord of the Rings Return Of the King
() Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark
() Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom
() Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade
Total so far: 90


( ) Baseketball
(x) Hostel
( ) Waiting for Guffman
() House of 1000 Corpses
( ) Devils Rejects
() Elf
() Highlander
( ) Mothman Prophecies
( ) American History X
( ) Three
Total so Far: 91

( ) The Jacket
(x) Kung Fu Hustle
(x) Shaolin Soccer
( ) Night Watch
( ) Monsters Inc.
(x) Titanic
( ) Monty Python and the Holy Grail
() Shaun Of the Dead
(x) Willard
Total so far: 95

( ) High Tension
( ) Club Dread
(x) Hulk
(x) Dawn Of the Dead
( ) Hook
( ) Chronicles Of Narnia: The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe
(x) 28 days later
( ) Orgazmo
( ) Phantasm
(x) Waterworld
Total so far: 99


( ) Kill Bill vol 1
( ) Kill Bill vol 2
(x) Mortal Kombat
( ) Wolf Creek
() Kingdom of Heaven
() the Hills Have Eyes
( ) I Spit on Your Grave aka the Day of the Woman
( ) The Last House on the Left
( ) Re-Animator
( ) Army of Darkness
Total so far: 100

(x) Star Wars Ep. I The Phantom Menace
( x)Star Wars Ep. II Attack of the Clones
(x)Star Wars Ep. III Revenge of the Sith
( ) Star Wars Ep. IV A New Hope
( ) Star Wars Ep. V The Empire Strikes Back
(x) Star Wars Ep. VI Return of the Jedi
() Ewoks Caravan Of Courage
( ) Ewoks The Battle For Endor
Total so far: 104

(x) The Matrix
(x) The Matrix Reloaded
(x) The Matrix Revolutions
(x) Animatrix
( ) Evil Dead
( ) Evil Dead 2
( ) Team America: World Police
(x) Red Dragon
(x) Silence of the Lambs
(x) Hannibal

111 movies out of 239.. lol

One Liners

Ah..... I haven't updated for a while. Valentines and my cousin's bday passed by (oh Justin's birthday also in that case) anddddd I have been toooooo laaazehhhh to update.

Ok I'm copying this format from one of Mel's posts.. These are one liners from songs that really strike me a note..

"If I don't need you then why does your name resound in my head" (Daniel Bedingfield , If you're not the one)

"So goodnight, goodnight" (Maroon 5, Goodnight Goodnight)

"If only I could tell you something, to take it all away" (Simple Plan, Save you)

"We are who we were when, could have been lovers but at least you're still my day late friend" (Anberlin, Day Late Friend)

"I miss you, I miss you so bad, I don't forget you. Oh it's so sad" (Avril Lavigne, Slipped Away)

"Every moment spent with you is a moment I treasure" (Aerosmith, I don't wanna miss a thing"

"I don't love you, like I did yesterday" (My Chemical Romance, I Don't Love you)

"I'll give up all I have to just breathe, the same air as you do" (Secondhand Serenade, A twist in my story)

"If love was a sport we're not on the same team. You and I were destined to lose" (Usher, Separated)

Hope you get to pick up these songs to listen to. All of them are nice. More in my head actually but that should suffice for now (cause I'm starving).

Ciaoz all~

- Rob

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

What happened to the Philippines?

Saw this posted on my pal's blog so I decided to spread it around. Have a good read.. And smell the roses.

Ophel Belo is the valedictorian for 2007 at the recently concluded graduation ceremonies of the Filipino Workers' Resource Center - Skills Training Program (FWRC-STP) here in Kuala Lumpur.

Although she never became my student at FWRC-STP, I was fortunate enough to work with her during the center's numerous events. She's quiet but efficient, unassuming yet smart. Despite her brilliance, she is working as a domestic helper here in KL.

In her valedictory address, Ophel had a lot to say about the sad state our country is in.

K. Flores


VALEDICTORY ADDRESS
by: Ms. Ophelia A. Belo

Excellencies, Ambassadors Lecaros and Brillantes, Mrs. Lecaros, Labatt JBJ and Mrs. Jimenez, Faculty Advisers, Embassy Officials, Filcom Leaders, Malaysian Nationals, Princess Becky, Datu Lim Sun Hoe and Datu Sunny Lim, Honorees, Guests, fellow students and graduates, friends countrymen and visitors, good afternoon,

I thank God for this honor and I express gratitude to my country and government for this opportunity. I accept this distinction with both joy and sadness. There is joy in my heart right now because once again I have proven that there is a reward for hardwork, dedication, and excellence. But I am sad right at these moment, I am sad for our country and for our people. I am sad for you fellow graduates. And I am sad for myself.

I am sad that the Philippines, the homeland of brilliant, highly skilled and very articulate people, is now becoming the No. 1 supplier of cheap labor including domestic helper into the booming world of global markets. We can kid ourselves by saying there's nothing wrong in being a domestic helper. Oh come on! I am a domestic helper myself and I'm not ashamed to be so. But then, what?

I am looking at the big picture and I am looking at our country and I am disappointed that there is not much hope if we remain there. I am regretful that every single day, no less than 3,200 Filipinos are leaving the Philippines, many of them for good, in the hope of finding jobs that can send our children to school, buy medicines for our sick, repair our dilapidated shanties or pay for all our indebtedness.

What happened to the Philippines?

Our country is supposed to be the Pearl of the Orient Seas. In 1961, many Malaysians used to envy the Filipinos. They dreamt to study in UP, La Salle or Ateneo. Today, Malaysians are the employers of Filipino domestic helpers. They have sent an astronaut into space, while the Filipinos are still quarreling about government contracts and alleged rigging of elections.

We, the OFWs must begin the process of the renewal for our country. The FWRC is our center of excellence to be able to compete globally and turn around our country.

The global labor markets are unforgiving. The avalanche of rising demands for quality comes rushing every single moment and the standards of excellence keep on rising without pause. Only those who never stop learning will survive in this crazy and mind-boggling competition for skills.

Filipino engineers and technicians in IT who surf the cyberspaces for emerging opportunities find themselves competing with highly competent Indian computer wizards. Indians are also emerging as our OFW's top competitors in the global labor markets.

Our oil and gas engineers are still preferred by Malaysian employers because the local chemical and mechanical engineers prefer to work in UK and in the Middle East. This is the result of globalization of human capital.

Our domestic helpers from the Philippines are still the preferred ones by Malaysian royalty, high government officials and top businessmen. But the Filipino domestics represent only a miniscule 2% of the entire DH market in Malaysia, Indonesia commands more than 90% of the 500,000 household service providers in this country. But the Philippine government is aiming for QUALITY employment. We frown upon QUANTITY or high volume of 5 D's: the jobs that are DIRTY, DIFFICULT, DANGEROUS, DEMEANING and DECEPTIVE.

Even if the Filipina DHs are only few, they enjoy superior benefits. They enjoy Sunday day-offs every week or at least every another week with the two Sundays paid for when they are not allowed to go. They have much higher pay and better terms and conditions of employment. They are allowed to study in the FWRC Skills Training Program.

The Filipino household service workers, along with other OFWs do study in FWRC. They learn word processing, spreadsheet, internet, illustrator, photoshop, autocad and multiple computer applications. They study Commercial Baking, Advanced Cake Decorating, Western Food Cooking, Basic Nursing, Reflexology and Arts and Crafts. They even learn the Art of Communication, Composition and Correspondences, Business and Social Correspondences, Financial Management, Business Development and Entrepreneurship.

The Labor Attache and top Embassy Officials teach BLAWSFIL (Basic Labor Laws for Filipino, a subject created by Labat JBJ as a means for empowerment, to arm the OFWs with fundamental knowledge of the labor and family laws, immigration and even contract laws and criminal statutes. The migrant workers from the Philippines are aware of their rights as well as obligations to employers and host government. They have less chances of being arrested and detained and they are more confident when confronted with legal issues.

OFWs from Malaysia who are now venturing to UK like Lyn dela Rama and Gene Sarmiento, both outstanding FWRC alumnae, have better chances of survival and even excellence in more challenging work environments. Former FWRC resource persons like Dang Penarubia who migrated to Canada have better probability of success than others who went withoug FWRC KASH (Knowledge, Attitude, Skills and Habits)

Today, the 21st of October, here in the Grand Ballroom of Crown Princess Hotel in Kuala Lumpur, few shall graduate those among the 490 who enrolled in January, survived the grueling holistic training in FWRC. Today, the word GRADUATION should be understood as a process, not an end, a process of enhancing elevating, improving and developing the KASH positions of the OFW who made the correct decision to study in FWRC.

Today, also is a COMMENCEMENT, a starting point, a beginning, a point of embarkation to a higher level of consciousness, to a better perspective in life, a much improved point of view and a stronger, higher quality of qualification, a better state of readiness, an empowered new beginning of the rest of our lifetime journey.

The quest for excellence, the drive to win the global labor markets, the hunger for bigger challenges, the thirst for learning -- an insatiable yearning to learn more -- these are the hallmarks of men and women who are geared and programmed for success in life.

The next motto of FWRC is "ON TO THE MARCH FOR EXCELLENCE," both in skills and in Character. Both committed and competent. Thus, today is indeed a day for celebration. But after the celebration, we need to do something for our country.

And so today, ladies and gentlemen, what are we going to do to create a meaningful difference in the future of our country? Evil triumphs because good men do nothing. Let us all do something, no matter how small.

FIRST, let us not remit everything that we earn here. Let us save at least 50% through the Samahang Impok Bayan and keep it until we go home for good.

SECOND, let us all take courses in the FWRC that will help us in our reintegration like Business Management, Entrepreneurship Accounting, Basic Laws and other relevant courses. Indeed it is only bring EXCELLENCE THAT WE CAN TO THE GLOBAL WORLD.

THIRD, let us all write to our congressmen, let us write to our newspaper, let us e-mail jour opinions and let us be active in denouncing the abuses of our political leaders.

FOURTH, let us rally behind honest and hardworking officials and staff in government but let us denounce and expose and charge all those who violate their oaths as public servants.

FIFTH, let us help in the FWRC. Whatever honor we receive today should provide us an inspiration to share our knowledge to other OFWs.

SIXTH, let us discipline our families at home. They should learn to value our remittances and not squander them in luxuries. Let us let them learn that we worked hard for the money and we should not tolerate extravagances.

SEVENTH, let us all be aware of all the economic, social and political developments in our country. Let us monitor what are the trends and programs of our country's future. And let us share our thoughts with those who spend our remittances.

AND lastly number EIGHT, let us all be aware that all that were, all that are and all that will be in the Philippines are driven by economic realities, high population growth, labor excess economy, cheap labor, globalization without safety nets, insufficient social services. All these are exacerbating the pains and sufferings of our people.

These are the reasons why the joy of my success today is eclipsed by the sadness in our situation as a nation and as a people.

We've got to feel the pain so that we will do something about it. We can not continue deluding ourselves. We have to face realities and bite the bullet.

According to a great social scientist: THE FUTURE BELONGS TO THE DISCONTENTED. The Filipinos should start to be discontented with our situation and tell our leaders of our discontentment.

According to a Chinese Philosopher: IT IS CRAZY TO EXPECT DIFFERENT RESULTS IF WE CONTINUE TO REPEAT THE SAME MISTAKES. The Filipinos should accept that there are for too many mistakes and we have to correct them.

And according to Dr. Jose Rizal in his NOLI ME TANGERE, recorded in the history of human sufferings is a cancer of so malignant a character that the least touch irritates it.

Since the time of Rizal until now more than a century after, the cancer is still here -- a SOCIAL CANCER, AN ECONOMIC MALADY.

The only difference is that we can do something about it. Yes we can. And we should. No matter how strait the gate and how charged with punishment the scroll, we are the masters of our fate. We are the captain of our souls, to borrow from Invictus.

Kaya mga kababayan, dapat umpisahan na ang pagbabago, umpisahan sa ating sarili. Kung hindi ngayon, kaylan pa? Kung hindi tayo and mag umpisa, sino pa? Bahala tayo sa ating kinabukasan at bahala tayo sa kinabukasan ng ating bansa Pakaisipin ninyo ito. Huwag kayong masyadong magsaya. Dapat magkaroon din kayo ng lungkot, upang magsikap kayong magbago. Dahil ang mga problema ay hindi nakakatuwa.

Marami pong salamat.

-- GMANews.TV

(Original post by K. Flores: http://www.gmanews.tv/story/68721/What-happened-to-the-Philippines)

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Whoah Boy!

Hello world. Haha. Forgot to update for almost a week now as I tried to be a fan of my own blog and I noticed that it wasn't appealing at all. It's like watching a movie you've seen 3 times on the same day. Anyway, how is it going Mr. Blogger?

Grandma left for Texas last January 28 to aid my aunt (Mom's sister) who is due to give birth on April(?) to their second child. She pretty much has some troubles handling their family now since my Uncle is still recovering from his past operation plus my 5 year old cousin (turning 6 on hearts day) is really a pain.. errr ok, a little troublesome in the ass. That leaves my grandfather and my other aunt in charge of the other house (which is just 1 house away from here) in our custody for 6 months. Everything should be fine here, except for the extra troubles now and then for my aunt. She's kinda "special". But basically, we're good. We're good.

I haven't played ball for a week. Oh no, this is bad. Bad indeed. But it's not because I was lazy or something, but the schedule has been a bit off track for that activity. I've been job hunting (oh yeah you read that right my friend) and finally, something to try out later. I was trying my best to skip call centers but oh well, 10 am this morning I will be @ Makati for an interview. Thanks to my friend Ella for the recommendation and we'll all be going there later. It's part time anyway so I am still spared somewhat from the call center era. Wish me luck for later then.

Oh yeah, Kung Hei Fat Choi! Happy Chinese New Year!

That shakes off some rust and dust. Ciaoz for now.


- Rob

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

A Little Bit Outdated

Oh gee. I've left behind a few days behind of my usual stuff due to some mix up in my schedule. Was supposed to have my teeth pulled last Sunday only to end up sleeping the whole afternoon off and completely missing any chances of getting it done. We cancelled our supposed gathering that night for my epic tooth event and I blew it up. Oh well.. Another jampacked weekend on this one and chances of me getting it done is 50/50 once more. I've also missed playing ball for the last 3 days (4th later due to some commitments) and I hope I don't feel sore again once I go back on the court. I also kinda quit dancing and with the way these random pains seem to pop out of anywhere, I doubt I can go back to that also in a rush.

Fragile?

Pretty much everywhere all the time before. Not now though.

Last night, had a gathering with my beloved former factionmates from GE and it was a blast as usual. Food, drinks and tons of dissing as usual. Sadly, we're not fans of picture taking so yeah, welcome to another fun filled edition of my wall-of-text blog entry. But hey, still my blog so I run the show :p . Anyway, it was the usual pack last night (sans Maki again) and we were thinking of holding a regular get together to play texas hold em or hang out somewhere beside people's houses. That would be awfully cool! That also brings some hope into my usually hopeless social life where I just bum in front of the pc and chat people (minus the real emotions and actions whereas, I found myself stuttering talking in real life at times and it sucks) and that basically, is not pretty much called socializing. I need a job soon I guess. I'm still hoping for some calls from the companies I tried (and turned down before because of some circumstances) and I do hope this time I get it right. I am pretty much decided what to do now this year to give direction to my life.

Work this year and study on the next one. At least I can really pay for my fees now.


Back to a bit of slacking!

-Rob

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Stoning

Argh I haven't played ball for the past 2 days for some certain reasons and it's making me feel like I'm going back to bum mania. Mom and the helper had to go visit the market to restock some goods before the weekend so I can't play ball (the place where I play is like a 20 minute walk away from home and it isn't safe to bring anything with me while playing because I can't watch over it) unless I wait till they get back (which is also a bad idea because they take 2-3 hours at the market). Now because of this stuff, it's been hard to cope up with my past routine. Gah.

On a sidenote, I am so lazy to erase the whole freaking thing I typed above and here I am, back from playing ball. Lol. My stamina is slowly getting back, no more traces of any body part aching and the consistency is back in my shot. I'm already starting to think that I should record my daily performance now. I haven't actually seen a video of myself shooting hoops. Like.. How's my form, the stroke, how my body moves or slants when I try a shot or run after the ball. I really should ask someone to do this for me one day.. One day..

But one thing I like about this new approach in trying to lose weight is that I haven't drank any soda for the past 16 days. Yes you saw it right. 16 DARN DAYS. Can you imagine? I'm like the guy who can toss a 1.5 liter soda bottle to oblivion on 1 sitting and now, I can't even be bothered to try drinking a glass. Good discipline also getting in the picture.

Well that's it for this morning. Going out around lunch to pay mom's credit card bills and maybe try to hang out at the mall. New aim: Hit 100 straight free throws (I've hit 6 straight on 4 different occasions today after failing to hit 5 straight even once on the first 3 days).

Just like this guy who is on queue to break Micheal Williams NBA record for consecutive free throws made and the guy before him who was considered a legend.


Rick Barry (GSW) and Jose Calderon (Toronto Raptors)

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Reality Sinking In

Ah.

I'm finally able to pinch back some missing pieces in my life for the past years (dancing, playing basketball, watching TV *yes haven't seen enough TV action for the past years while playing Granado Espada*) but still, something.. No no, someone.. Is missing.

Awkward.....

Am I not capable? Not really. I guess it's because I've been stuck at home the whole time after my last R/S and there is no way I am so gonna get some social action till I go back to school or I find work. I mean.. It's kinda random for me to rant about this out of nowhere but it just sank in all of a sudden.

... And I'm left in a daze.














and these guys are also leaving 1 by 1...

Oh gee. Emo moments. Hate this crap.

Monday, January 12, 2009

Back on Track!

Hello there! Finally got my body parts functioning like the usual again so I think I'm good to go back dancing and playing ball later this morning. Everything else is pretty much better than it used to be before since now I am getting more than 10 hours of sleep a day (YES 10 hours OMG) for the previous 2 days that I was so shagged from pushing myself to doing activities I haven't done for years. From now on, I need to make sure I keep my body in shape for the strenuous stuff I'll be going through from now on.

Been getting some good feedback off my return to blogging (some criticisms said it's nothing but a plain WALL OF TEXT) and as much as I want to work on it, I don't wanna overblog this time. Write what I feel, post it and pretty much read it over again is fine. Wang bang thank you mam hoho! All the years of not writing really rusts up everything so I guess it's fine. Better to write something than nothing but like what people say, why settle for second best when you can get the top spot? Let's see what we can do about that..... Sticking for this manner of writing here for the moment though.

OK! Tomorrow back to playing ball. Dancing sessions now. Haha. Till next time!


****************************************

Grats to my sister for passing her entrance exam @ UST. Thinking of transferring there as well but not till I find a steady means of getting moolah to pay for my tuition. Hmm... Any job vacancies guys? :P

- Rob

Saturday, January 10, 2009

Outworked.

God it's been a while since I last played ball. Include that with the frequent dancing and what do you get?

SUPER BODYACHE!

I'm aching everywhere after dancing an hour and playing ball at the plaze 30 mins back and fro from home. I can't feel my left and right arms. Overworked it I guess. Can you blame a guy who hasn't shot hoops (besides those in arcades) for years?

Well I'll go do a Heroes season 3 marathon at the meantime. No dancing and hoops for tomorrow I guess or I'll end up breaking my bones and tearing my muscles. Bleah.

Till then~

- Rob

Thursday, January 8, 2009

Alive.

God it feels good to be alive.

Again.

It's been a while since I've done something sensible in my life. Yes, despite the limelight of my recent activities and all the hype in how I've survived the past year or so, It's just been one hell of a ride these past 3-4 years of my life. You heard it right. It's been quite a while that I was out of this world. From messing up my grades to completely ditching up my course, from being a mediocre gamer and becoming an impact one, from being a quiet guy who'd rather hide in his room rather than socialize to the social animal I am now, I must say that yes.

It's been one hell of a ride.

I've seen so much more than a normal guy should have seen in his age, or his era. It's just been nothing but magnificence and yet, full of flaws at the same time. I've achieved a lot of things on my own just as much as I messed up what I shouldn't in the first place. Do I call it quits on everything? I don't think so. There's so much more to what I have and all I have to do is dig deep and find the missing part that will complete my life, ME, again.

So what's up with all this sudden new look at life? Is it the new year? Is it the pressure I am in right now facing these odds life has to offer? I don't think so. I guess it is this urge to embark into this journey.

Journey of life.


I really feel good. Life hasn't been this interesting, this appealing to me before I've seen and heard stuff from other people. Yes, people inspired me. People I never thought they would. One would be this guy, UFC Interim Heavyweight Champion Frank Mir. Ironic how his field deals with how life should be lived but to think of what he's been through and how he has changed his life for the better, It's simply amazing. At the prime of his career, he has to give up his championship belt due to a motor accident. No one thought he could fight again but after years of training and rehab, he has proved everyone wrong. I loved the way he has delivered his speech after his career changing win over Antonio Noguerra last December when he addressed everyone with these words:

"I faced such demons after my [2004 motorcycle] wreck. To come back and fight the best
heavyweight to ever fight in the UFC, to come back and get a win over him, after what
I've gone through … everybody right now look at your life, people always say you can't
do s---; I'm proof you can do things. I didn't even think I could beat Noguiera, C'mon,
if I was a betting man, I wasn't on Mir's side tonight," he said. "I came through this
'cause of the love of my children, my family, my wife. Everybody, you know who I love,
thank you."

Inspiring indeed.

Life sure is pretty if we appreciate it the way it's due.

Till next time~


- Rob